How are we going to go on?
by Starladoll86
Summary: This my take on a conversation between Henry and Killian regarding the secret Emma was keeping from her family. Daddy Killian to Henry.


I shot straight up for the third night in a row. It had happened every night since Emma told us all her secret. I would be in the middle of what seems like a meaningless dream right before it starts going dark. It is then that whatever was happening before shifts to Emma and I are in the middle of the street while I hold her body close to me. We are exchange goodbyes similar to those that were said in the Underworld and then she is gone.  
Looking around the room, everything is the same as it was when I fell asleep. There was no big battle or dramatic scene that would make my dream real. The most important thing that told me the dream was just that; was the beautiful blonde sleeping with her back towards me. Before she was forced to reveal her secret, she was the one having restless nights. Now the burden was on me.

There was nothing more I wanted in this world than to pick her up carry her to the Jolly and sail away. I didn't care if we spent the next 50 years on the sea if it meant she was safe with me. That would mean I would be able to hold and kiss her every day until we were both old, we would be able to have a few kids like we had talked about once or twice in the last few weeks since we have been back, and most importantly we would never have to say goodbye to each other ever again.

I had lost track of time of how long I sat there watching her sleep. Watching her shoulders rise just slightly when she took a breath. Watching as her legs slightly twitched knowing that she was completely comfortable. Listening to the sound of her gentle snore. How would it be possible that I would have to live without all of these things soon?

There was her voice in the back of my mind saying they would find another way but I couldn't take that chance. I had to save the scissors for when the time comes. It was against her wishes but I couldn't lose her. She is everything to me. It would actual kill me to lose her by death. I thought the pain I felt when I lost Milah was torture but now I knew that I was wrong. There was a connection that Emma and I shared that hadn't been touched before.

True Love

I knew very little of the subject other than the depth of love I have for Emma. I didn't know what would happen if part of a true love pair truly died. Would the other continue on as best they could? Would their soul die too? Would they even be able to breathe? Would he have anything left to live for if she were gone?

All of these questions were hitting me over and over again. I had to do something before I drove himself crazy just sitting here thinking the absolute worst.

I got up and put on a shirt to go with hmy pajama pants. This was Henry's first night staying with us since finding out the news of his mom. It was a silent word spoken between Emma and I that they would keep things clean whenever Henry was there. Henry had decided to stay away for a few days after that first night. I didn't know if it was because Henry needed his own space to process everything or if he was giving his mom and I the space they needed for our relationship. Either way, that boy is wiser than he should be for his age. He goes out of his way to help others and tries to deal with his problems on his own as not to burden others with his grief.

The halls in the house were dark with just the light of the moon and the nightlights shining. This house was their symbol of the future we would live together. Even though it seemed the future was going to be cut very short now, we would still make the most of what we could now. The one thought that always got to me though when I allowed myself to think about it was more children. We would never paint the room next to ours as a nursery. We would never hear tiny steps running down the hallway. We would never be woken up bright and early by little ones jumping in bed with us.

That is unless I intervene and I will if the time comes.

I had just reached the steps when I heard a faint sniffing sound. The pirate in me instantly went to putting my defenses up but the domestic side of me knew exactly what was happening. Taking the last few steps as softly as I could hoping not to scare the boy, I didn't need that on top of everything else. The couch that sat in the living room but faced my direction was empty. It meant he must be over by the sitting chairs the faced back towards the couch.

Turning around the small wall into the living room, I saw Henry sitting on the floor leaning against the chair. Tear were rolling down his face as he held a picture frame in his hands. It was Emma's favorite picture of her and her boy. Henry had explained each photo that hung in the house when they were setting them up. The one he was holding was taken the day she had decided to officially stay in Storybrooke before the first curse broke. They were right outside the ice cream store smiling while holding up their treats for the camera to see.

I moved to sit on the floor next to Henry facing the teenager. Nothing was being said by either of us for a long minute. We were both just sitting there knowing the other was thinking the exact same thing. We can't lose her. I stood to lose my friend, lover, the other half of my soul. Henry would lose his mother. To him she is the woman who brought him into this world, the woman who saved his life countless times, and the woman who loved him no matter what in this world.

"What are you thinking lad?"

He didn't answer at first. Instead only wiping the tears out of his eye and shrugging his shoulders.

"Why does it have to be her?" He answered in a broken voice.

The lad and I have had a few moments where he has come to me with advice and I always found a way to soldier through those conversations. This time I was at a complete lose. I didn't have an answer because I was asking the same question.  
"I don't know. If it had to be anyone, I wish it was me."  
"That is because you love her."  
"Ay that I do. It is the same situation as it was in Camelot. I can't lose her, it will hurt too much. I would rather die myself and take away the magic if I could. She is half of me now."

We just sat there again in silence for a little while. The tears had stopped for now but you could tell that Henry still had something on his mind. He was just like his mom though; you can't push him but he will come to you.  
"Why are all of my parents destined to leave me?"  
"What?" I was stunned by his question unsure of what he was meaning by it.  
"Why is everyone destined to leave me?" He asked again but I was still unsure of the point he was trying to make. "A few years ago it was just me and my other mom. I never felt loved or wanted by her. That is why I went out looking for my real mom and when I found her; I knew I loved her instantly. I had two moms who loved me so much they used to fight over me. Then we found my dad and I truly didn't think I could be happier with my family until you started to come into our lives Mr. Hook." He said with a wet happy smile. "You know I prefer the term Captain over Mr."

"My bad Captain Hook." He corrected and I gave him a slight head nod. "After that when I lost my dad, it still wasn't too bad. I mean I'm still sad about it and miss him every day but I still had my moms and you with me. Then even more Robin came into the picture and even brought Roland with him. I felt like I was an actual big brother for awhile too until they left me. Now here we are my two moms, you and me who are great but now both of my moms are marked for death. I am destined to be alone again." He got out before the tears started up again.

Without any thought I moved the picture off his lap and reached out to pull him towards me. Wrapping him in a hug I started to almost rock us back and forth as I have seen other parents do when comforting their children. "Henry, you are never going to be alone. Your moms would not allow it nor do I. Even if things go wrong and your moms leave us, I will still be here."  
"Really? You wouldn't try to leave right behind my mom so you could still be with her?"

It didn't really hit me until then that the boy might be right. I could see myself following right behind her to the Underworld. It would be nothing for me to give my own life to join my true love for all of eternity. It wouldn't be anything for me to give my own life for her; it already belongs to her anyway. That isn't what she would want though. She would want me to go on with my life and try to find joy without her. She would want me to enjoy this time without her in this world. She would want me to help care for her loved ones while she couldn't.

"Henry I need you to know something." I started to explain to him pulling him back so he could look into my eyes. I was going to say this and meant it all. He needed to know this. "There is nothing in this world that is going to keep your moms from fighting everything they have to stay here with you. If they were to fail, and that is a giant if, I will still be here. Your mother is my life now; my true love. If the vision is true and she does leave us, I am going to continue the one thing that gave her life in this world. I will take care of you. There is nothing that will tear us away from each other Henry. I know I am not your blood but to me, you are my son."

"You think of me as your son?" He asked me almost shocked.

"Aye lad. I will always be with you. Even if we lose your mother, and it will physically kill me if that happens, it will be you and I from here on out."

It looked like he was going to start crying again and pulled me into a tighter hug than before.

"Thank you Killian or dad." He muffled as the tears started coming out again hitting my shoulder soaking into my shirt.

I heard another small sniffle and glanced up to the wall that was next to the stairs. My beautiful Swan was there slightly hiding behind the wall watching the scene before her. The smile that was on her face was breathtaking. I held my arm out for her to join us on the floor. Henry had looked up as she wrapped her arms around the both of us.

No matter how much it would kill us to lose our Swan or mother, her boys would go on.

I don't own anything OUAT! I was just thinking about this after watching the most recent episode. I hope you enjoyed reading this one shot as much as I enjoyed writing it out. Please like and comment! I love reading feedback! Thank you :)


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